We (CCMA founders Dr. Charlene Berquist and Heather Blades) have a nearly 20-year track record for offering outstanding mediation training. When we transitioned to providing this training in a virtual instructor-led format in the fall of 2020 for the Center for Dispute Resolution at Missouri State University, we made great efforts to ensure participants would continue to have an outstanding training experience via Zoom.

This past October and November we again offered our mediation training virtually, and our participants agreed it was an engaging, enjoyable, and professionally enriching experience.

Fall 2021 Mediation Trainings Recap
We are experienced with offering highly interactive online training that incorporates lecture, small group activities, discussion, role play, and other dynamic elements in a socially-distanced format. Our fall mediation trainings continued this tradition.

The trainings, led by CCMA founder Dr. Charlene Berquist, with Associate Director Heather Blades providing Zoom production and technical support and administration, incorporated guest presentations and mediation role play coaching from 17 professional mediators (with experience in all types of mediation, including civil mediation, family mediation, employment mediation, dependency mediation, and more).

Our 53 attendees came from across Missouri, as well as from Arkansas, Arizona, Illinois, Maryland, and Texas. They included attorneys, mental health practitioners, social workers, educators, faith leaders, and other professionals, as well as advanced Missouri State students.

Attendees Thrilled with Virtual Training Model
The virtual format of our mediation training makes the event accessible and convenient while still providing an unparalleled learning experience.

Attendee evaluations of this training were outstanding, with participants universally indicating that the trainers were knowledgeable, that the training was well organized, that the structure and format were engaging, that participation and interaction were encouraged, and that the training met or exceeded their expectations.

In the words of a few of our participants:

• Absolutely wonderful training!! I’ve completed a lot of different classes over the years, and this one may be my favorite one so far due to the organization, high quality of instruction, role plays, and incredible support throughout.
• I was really impressed with all the training methods and tools used, and how seamlessly everyone...worked together to create such a wonderful learning experience for each of us.
• Each part of the 5 days of training was insightful and served a purpose. My personal favorite parts were the first 3 days of training with all the incredible content and instruction given around foundations in mediation, communication styles, conflict management approaches, etc.
• I was concerned about how we were going to be able to interact since it was via Zoom, but it was done so wonderfully it felt like we were in the room together.
• There wasn’t a single coach I had that I did not learn something from. I appreciated the variety in background and experience.
• I learned so much from you all! I think this training is just the tip of the iceberg and there is so much more to learn.
• Overall, I really, really enjoyed this experience. I didn’t quite know what to expect coming into it, but was excited to find that it more than exceeding any expectations and I loved the learning experience very much.
• I think that participation and interaction were very much encouraged. Being put into roles and mediations this way… forced me out of my comfort zone, but in a very good way.
• I am honestly blown away at how much I’m taking away from the training. I feel prepared to do whatever I want to do next, and have the knowledge of how to do it.
• While I have a long way to go, I do feel very prepared to begin my career in mediation. I also feel very supported and that there is a safety net should I ever need help.

For More Information on Mediation Training
For more information on CCMA's mediation training offerings, check our training page or join our mailing list. Or, to learn about customized mediation or conflict management training, contact CCMA founder Dr. Charlene Berquist at CharleneBerquist@CCM-Associates.com.

The holidays are a chance to relax, reconnect with family, and celebrate together. But for many , this fun and festive time is also fraught with the potential for awkward, uncomfortable, and even upsetting interactions with loved ones. But fear not! The tips below will help you mentally prepare so you can make the most of your time with family. Additionally, they will equip you with strategies to manage any challenging conversations or conflicts that may arise as you spend quality time with your nearest and dearest.

Before you get together with family:

• Be grateful. Take time to think deliberately about all you have to be thankful for. Make a list of each family member you’ll spend time with and write down 1-2 things you appreciate about each person. Gratitude has a positive impact on your emotional health, reduces stress, and will create a different mindset and context for your family holiday. By being mindful of what you like and appreciate about each person you are more likely to “see” those things in your interactions with them.
• Prepare yourself. Be prepared for some conflict, and approach time with family with a sense of realism. Prepare yourself to stay neutral and avoid taking comments personally. You know who in your family may rub you the wrong way or try to start an argument. Consider making a plan in advance for how you will handle these interactions so you aren’t reacting out of stress or anger in the moment.
• Communicate in advance. Let your family know about your plans and expectations for how you will spend your time. For example, your sister may assume you’ll want to spend ALL your time with her, while you plan to visit other friends during your time off. Letting her know early what your plans are will help avoid hurt feelings and enable you to set expectations and establish boundaries in advance of your visit.
• Be realistic about change. As families grow and time passes, traditions and rituals often change. Accept that you may have to let some go, and put your energy into finding new ways to celebrate together that fit with your and your family’s life circumstances.

While you are with your family:

• Keep conversations neutral. Avoid discussing divisive and personal issues, like religion or politics, or when you will get married or graduate (if these are sensitive issues), or other issues that tend to cause conflict. If a family member tries to start a conversation that will probably become an argument, change the subject or find a reason to leave the room. Remember – it takes two to tango! By adjusting your response to the other person, you can alter the dynamic of the relationship.
• Choose not to respond. If you are feeling attacked or criticized by something a family member says to you, ask yourself “Do I NEED to respond?” When we respond out of anger or defensiveness, the situation is likely to escalate. Surprisingly often we can end the drama simply by not responding, or by saying “OK” and moving on. No response IS a response, and a powerful one. 
• Accept the reality of who people really are. If you are interacting with difficult family members, don’t attempt to change them. You will only get into a power struggle that causes defensiveness and invites criticism. Remember, there is only one person you can control or change: yourself! This can feel frustrating, but when we display and model positive behaviors, others are more likely to follow our lead. And even if their negative behaviors continue, at least you can look back on your choices and feel proud that you acted calmly and maturely.
• Be curious. Sharing holidays with family who hold different values and beliefs can be stressful! If you decide to engage in discussions about topics on which you disagree, instead of trying to defend your point of view or persuade the other person to your way of thinking, approach your family members with curiosity. Actively listen and seek to understand their point of view. Being genuinely curious about their beliefs, values, hopes, and fears helps to open up a deeper dialogue. When you get to the core of what’s important to your family member, it often allows a richer understanding that may not have seemed possible had you chosen to “debate” them.
• Know your limits. It is OK to limit the time you spend around family. Set up realistic limits and stick to them. Plan time or activities that allow you to take care of yourself – this may mean taking a walk, enjoying a good book for an hour, listening to a podcast, soaking in a warm bath, or other activities that take you away from the holiday stress and help you recharge. In the words of Audre Lorde, “Self care is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation.”
• Forget about perfection. A wise person once said, “The key to happiness is low expectations.” Too often we strive for perfection and set ourselves up for failure. Instead of focusing on what isn’t perfect about your holiday, make a point to recognize everything you have to appreciate.
• Help others feel recognized and appreciated. Sometimes in our own stress we forget that the holidays are stressful for others as well. Help your family members feel more relaxed, loved, and valued by making a point to tell them something you appreciate about them, or by clearly recognizing something they have done well over the past year. We too often assume others know what we are thinking or how we feel about them. Just a few words of love, support, appreciation, or encouragement can mean a lot to our loved ones.

We hope these tips help you as you prepare for holidays!